(c) 2008, Timothy P. Bete and Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
Guide to Pirate Parenting
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's
Top 10 malicious behaviors that
are signs of a healthy young pirate
(10) Stuck sibling’s hook in an electrical outlet.
(9) Replaced all the gunpowder with baking powder right before a big battle.
(8) Watered down the rum.
(7) Tried the old “putting black shoe polish on the inside of dad’s eye patch” trick.
(6) Flushed sibling’s goldfish during a “burial at sea” but didn’t wait until the fish were dead to do it.
(5) Put termites on Cap’n Billy’s wooden leg.
(4) On Halloween, replaced the traditional trick-or-treat greeting with “Your money or your life!”
(3) Threw live sharks in the neighbor’s hot tub.
(2) Told teacher his homework was “eaten by a giant barracuda when the family’s ship wrecked on a coral reef near the Dry Tortugas.”
(1) Plagiarrrrrrized a homeworrrrrk reporrrrrrt about Gerrrrald Forrrrrrd.
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