(c) 2009, Timothy P. Bete and Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall
Want to interview the authors?
Who wouldn't?! Tim Bete is happy to be interviewed by radio hosts, newspaper reporters, bloggers, pod-casters, Pulitzer Prize committee members and Oprah. Feel free to contact him at Tim@PirateParenting.com.
Unfortunately, Cap'n Billy is usually at sea and rarely speaks to the media.
He will, however, respond to e-mail questions. (His ship, The Frightened Flounder, has high-speed Internet access.) The Captain can be reached at CapnBilly@PirateParenting.com.
About the book
Title: CAP’N BILLY “THE BUTCHER” MACDOUGALL’S GUIDE TO PIRATE PARENTING: Why you should raise your kids as pirates and 101 tips on how to do it
Publication date: New Edition, February 2009
ISBN-13: 978-1-58385-291-0
ISBN-10: 1-58385-291-3
Category: Parenting/Humor
Type: Paperback
Size: 6 x 9, 124 pages
Cover price: $12.95 US (Retail)
Publisher: Cold Tree Press
Awards: Parent-to-Parent Adding Wisdon Award, Humor Book Category
ForeWord Magazine Humor Book of the Year Finalist
Table of contents
Part 1: Introduction
How I Met Cap’n Billy and Why You Should Raise Your Children to Be Pirates
Part 2: Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall’s Guide to Pirate Parenting
Baby Pirates—Mapping Out Your Child’s Future
Belly Timber—Feeding Your Pirate
Sleeping Like a Seadog and Other Nocturnal Issues
Quelling Mutinies—Disciplining Your Pirate
Scurvy and Hook Injuries—Pirate Health and Safety
Your Pirate's First Ship—How to Convert Your Minivan into a Pirate Schooner
As Your Pirate Gets Older (The Teen Years and Beyond)
About the authors
Tim Bete (pronounced “beet”) began his nautical adventures as a child sailing on Buzzards Bay off the coast of Massachusetts. At age 10, he longed for a small cannon to put on his grandfather’s 30-foot wooden ketch—a quick, two-masted vessel that is perfect for catching other ships so you can plunder ’em. His parents scuttled the cannon idea, saying he “would terrorize other boats with it.” That’s exactly what he had in mind.
Bete's parenting advice has been published in dozens of newspapers, magazines and Web sites, including The Christian Science Monitor, Atlanta Parent, Big Apple Parent, Northwest Family, FathersWorld.com and ParentingHumor.com. His first book, In the Beginning…There Were No Diapers, was a 2006 Foreword Best Book of the Year finalist.
Bete’s hobbies include pushing his luck and skating on thin ice. He’s the former director of the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop (www.HumorWriters.org.)
Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall (pronounced "MacDougall") has been hiding from authorities for most of his life. He lives on his ship, The Frightened Flounder, but can sometimes be found at the Crow’s Nest Tavern. His hobbies include plundering and rum.
Pirate praise...
"In the grand tradition of Dave Barry and other great humorists, Tim Bete has put together this alarmingly insightful book on how to raise your child to be a happy and self-sufficient pirate."
-- Rob Ossian, The Pirate Cove
"I loved Guide to Pirate Parenting! It’s as if Cap’n Billy was ripped from me own loins, which would explain that drafty feelin’ I get in me nethers."
-- Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers, co-author of Pirattitude! So You Wanna Be A Pirate? Here's How, and co-founder of Talk Like a Pirate Day
"I read it cover-to-cover without putting it down once. Wait, that's a blasted lie. I had to stop and wipe my eyes twice because I laughed so hard. The incredible guide you put together is the funniest pyratical book I've ever had the pleasure to read."
"A brilliantly funny alternative to the usual hit and miss approach to raising children. I say let's give it a shot. The kids are turning out badly anyway."
-- Tony "Jumpy Cabin Boy" Cochran, nationally syndicated cartoonist of Agnes
"This book made me laugh so hard I had to wipe the tears from my eyes. Not a good thing when you have a hook."
-- "Fingerless Fred" Rubin, Producer of Night Court and Family Matters
"A humorous, satirical jaunt through the world of parenting...complete with pirate-versions of popular nursery rhymes, checklists to gage your child's progress, and advice on dealing with pirate teenagers, this book contains little that might actually be useful to parents, but MUCH that might amuse them (especially after a hard day of PTA meetings and changing diapers.)"
"The funniest book I've read in years! If you're only going to buy one book about how to raise your kids as pirates, this should be it!"
-- Karyl "Cutthroat" Miller, Emmy Award winning sitcom writer, whose credits include The Cosby Show and The Mary Tyler Moore Show
"The only book a parent needs to turn his lily-livered land-lubbin’ lunkhead children into true pirates! Arrgh!"
Author of 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter
"Awesomely funny! Guide to Pirate Parenting showcases’ Bete’s warped, yet lovable, creativeness that makes this book a must-read for parents trying to escape the overwhelming trials of everyday life. As soon as I read, ‘If ye raised yer little powder monkeys as pirates, you’d be as happy as a bilge rat in a bunghole,’ I was hooked!"
-- Jodie Lynn, syndicated family/health columnist, best-selling author, Mom CEO (Chief Everything Officer) and CEO, Parent to Parent
Guide to Pirate Parenting
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's
The hysterically funny parody of parenting advice books
