Excerpts...
Plus nursery rhymes about...
Table of Contents
PART 1: Introduction
How I Met Cap’n Billy and Why You Should Raise Your Children to Be Pirates
PART 2: Cap’n Billy “The "Butcher”MacDougall ’s Guide to Pirate Parenting
Baby Pirates—Mapping Out Your Child’s Future
Belly Timber—Feeding Your Pirate
Sleeping Like a Seadog and Other Nocturnal Issues
Quelling Mutinies—Disciplining Your Pirate
Scurvy and Hook Injuries—Pirate Health and Safety
Your Pirate’s First Ship—How to Convert Your Minivan into a Pirate Schooner
As Your Pirate Gets Older (The Teen Years and Beyond)
Cap’n Billy’s 100%
Money-Back Guarantee
Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall is so confident his advice will turn your child into a pirate, he guarantees results. If you follow the instructions in this book and your child does not become a pirate, Cap’n Billy will refund the full purchase price of this book.*
* This guarantee assumes you have applied the principles in this book with your child for a period of 18 years. It also assumes you can find Cap’n Billy and that he remembers the guarantee. To claim a refund, you must bring your child to Cap’n Billy and let him decide whether your child is really a pirate or not. Cap’n Billy reserves the right to make refunds in salt cod in lieu of cash, not that he plans to give any refunds.
Guide to Pirate Parenting
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's
The hysterically funny parody of parenting advice books
