(c) 2009, Timothy P. Bete and Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall

Tim Bete (pronounced “beet”) began his nautical adventures as a child sailing on Buzzards Bay off the coast of Massachusetts. At age 10, he longed for a small cannon to put on his grandfather’s 30-foot wooden ketch—a quick, two-masted vessel that is perfect for catching other ships so you can plunder ’em. His parents scuttled the cannon idea, saying he “would terrorize other boats with it.” That’s exactly what he had in mind.

Bete's parenting advice has been published in dozens of newspapers, magazines and Web sites, including the Christian Science Monitor, Atlanta  Parent, Big Apple Parent,  Northwest Family, FathersWorld.com and

Captain Billy ‘The Butcher’ MacDougall (pronounced "MacDougall") has been hiding from authorities for most of his life. He lives on his ship, The Frightened Flounder, but can sometimes be found at the Crow’s Nest Tavern. His hobbies include plundering and rum. The Cap'n can be reached using his private online Web form.

About the authors

ParentingHumor.com. His first book, In the Beginning…There Were No Diapers, was a 2006 Foreword Best Book of the Year finalist.

Bete’s hobbies include pushing his luck and skating on thin ice. He’s the former director of the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop.

Want to interview the authors?

Who wouldn't?! Tim Bete is happy to be interviewed by radio hosts, newspaper reporters, bloggers, pod-casters, Pulitzer Prize committee members and Oprah. Feel free to contact him at Tim@PirateParenting.com.

Unfortunately, Cap'n Billy is usually at sea and rarely speaks to the media. He will, however, respond to e-mail questions. (His ship, The Frightened Flounder, has high-speed Internet access.) The Captain can be reached at CapnBilly@PirateParenting.com.

Guide to Pirate Parenting

Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's

The hysterically funny parody of parenting advice books